About Indecision
“Knowing how way leads to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.” With those words, Robert Frost cast a shadow on my life and gave a burden to bear. Rather, I should say, he captured the pathos we all face as we choose between destinies. Poignant and bittersweet is the truth that our decisions may well be irreversible and shadow future choices. Choose well. There’s no redo in the pro game. One thing leads to another, our options narrow and you can’t go home again. I understand the doom of choice.
We are free to choose, and we are doomed to choose. This double-edged sword is the birthright of humanity and a gift from God. The uncertainty of choice alternately exhilarates and frightens. I have been applauded for wisdom and foresight I did not possess and blamed for dire consequences I could not divine. Many times, I have stood at the crossroads uncertain where to go but unable to stay. All doubters are not faithless. Many are paralyzed by the weight of choice. Choice brings blame. It’s hard, and I know why.
The future is certain to God but uncertain to us. I have come to believe that, when things work out, people take credit undeserved. I’ve done it myself. Many make what seem to be good choices on the face only to falter in the backstretch. What a wonderful and terrible dilemma. Not everything is wrapped up in our IQs or Ps and Qs. Solomon himself recognized the intervention of time and chance. I’m reasonably sure he was wiser than I, so I am learning to give others the benefit of the doubt. I wish I’d started sooner.
Without faith, we would be more fearful. Only true faith in God and His plan for our lives can give any refuge in the cruel world of uncertainties. We will not only have seasons in the sun but times of survival in inhospitable climes. Believing in divine order greater than ourselves will help us cope when winter comes. I have trembled in the night and lay as dead in the ditch, but I have also felt the hand of God. Sometimes, comfort is a memory but a memory that brings comfort. We know there is Someone Who is not afraid.
The Bible tells us that God directs our paths if we put Him first in our decision-making. Even though we may not be aware of a salient moment of direction, God is guiding if we are listening and following to the best of our abilities. We hear a voice behind.
Searching the Scriptures (the path of nobility), we come to understand that believers have always struggled with options. The community of faith is one source of help. No Christian stands alone who belongs to a local church. It is a valuable, albeit secondary, resource for the uncertain.
I hope you find solace in the storms of life and the haze of ambiguity. Equally, I hope you find understanding. God stoops down to make us great, but we also need the gentle touch of human hands on the road of life.
I’m far from where I began though not yet at my destination. My memories hurt a bit when I trace time. It’s probably the same for you. Though some misunderstand your course, make your choices in the clear light of day. God will understand and have mercy. Your friends will, too.
Perhaps, a Samaritan will come your way.
Sterl