You May Be Right
I’ve never had much confidence in people who said they remembered exactly what was said about anything. Though, sometimes, it may be true, this caveat is often given before relating a story on which the teller doesn’t wish to be refuted. Self-serving? A lot of the time. Art imitates life. A common storyline in television shows is the dramatic difference in perspective of a single event through different eyes. Studies reveal that, of our vivid memories, about 40% are factually correct. The truth is you and me are wrong more often that we are right about the things we are most sure we are right about.
Such human-based studies find agreement with faith-based teaching. The Bible tells us that we are all deeply flawed. The fall gave us faults. One of these is the inability to see ourselves and occurrences as they really are. We have such self-serving bias that we automatically shift the focus of blame off ourselves and onto others. We treat merit the same way, loading our own wagon first. These are human instincts that we must overcome because the root of the instinct is in personal sinfulness. Again, I am not saying you are never right, only that we have a tendency to think we are always right. Both of us. All of us.
Solomon said we should not heed all things spoken. Others offend by the tongue, but so have we. A little grace is in order. It is a given that all have said the wrong things. While dispensing grace, save a little for yourself. It might be all you get. Stop beating yourself up over common sins. In addition to the fact that we have all misspoken is the plain fact that no one remembers past events with complete fidelity. We are all a little right, and we are all a little wrong. This shared blame should make us a little less exacting of others and a little less condemning of self. You may be wrong, but you may be right.
Sincere people tend to obsess. We obsess over other’s faults, and we obsess over our own. This is not good for us or them. If we can give up the stance that we are always right, we may be free to have a more realistic approach in all our dealings. By this, I do not mean that we should let ethics slip, rather that we understand the universal condemnation of man alongside the universal caring of God. We would feel better, and Solomon would be proud. Don’t take yourself, or others, so seriously. There are a great many things that cannot be settled in this life, so we’ll have to commit them to the next and be happy to do so.
Until eternity, we’ll have to accept the imperfections of others and ourselves. We don’t take pride in them, but we know they are there. Call them besetting sins. Learn to disagree with humor and accept correction with humility. I don’t have to be right and neither do you. What petty issues create precipitous fissures! Looking back, we’ll see many things we vexed over as scarcely worth mentioning. We might even be a little embarrassed at the great matter kindled by a little fire. I know I am. Accept your mistakes and apologize if necessary. It’s too late when we die to admit we don’t see eye to eye.
Sterl
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