You Can’t Make Me
Believe me, I’ve tried. To make folks do things, I mean. Things that I wanted them to do that were either against their nature, beyond their scope or against their will. I’ve done all three. It didn’t work. And it wasn’t always because my motives were bad. Sometimes, my motives were very good, but that doesn’t always translate to success. I’ve learned a hard lesson- you can’t really control people. What you end up with is frustration and grudging consent (if that).
People have their own minds and beds to make up. Free will cannot be taken out of the life equation. God made us that way. Understanding this reality can make things a little easier for us. For one thing, it can free us from feeling that we have to be in control of everything to begin with. That’s not easy for a controlling person (ahem) to accept, but it is necessary. It can also enable us to let go when we have done our best to exert influence that is rejected. When the horse dies, get off. You can’t make people conform.
If we can’t control others, then they can’t control us. It follows that we have been a frustration to them, as well. It’s a losing game on either end. How much conflict comes from people trying to accomplish the impossible. Neither appreciates the other for broaching the self-determination given us by our Creator. It’s not that any of us feels we always choose correctly, but we want to be able to choose freely.
In a way, we live at odds with others. Then again, we are often at odds with ourselves. Paul freely admitted the frustration of self-opposition. Not only can we not bend others to our will against theirs, but self-will shakes its fist at its owner. Paul said, “I’m wretched.” And not even God will impose Himself against this freedom. It’s not that He can’t- He won’t- He doesn’t. Is it any wonder that life is a struggle, defeats demoralizing and even victories fruitless?
We can never achieve through force what can only be accomplished through grace. Realizing this, we can unclench our teeth and take a different approach. God’s remedy for the human condition was self-sacrifice offering redemption. As sure as freedom of the will is a part of God’s plan, so is inescapable justice. One day, we will all wish we had done better. Until that time, God’s kindness leads us toward repentance.
Sterl
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