It’s Not You- It’s Me
Twenty years ago a man who worked for the Department of Youth Development in the State of Tennessee told me, “Be careful in assigning blame. Everybody wants to blame somebody else. The parents blame the school, and the school blames the parents. Parents aren’t always responsible for the things their children do.” Those words taught lessons to my soul. It is so indicative of the human condition to slip blame and divert attention from our own shortcomings to the visible faults of others.
It’s easy to do, really, because everyone fails. I’m just the right distance from you to see your problem though I may miss the glasses on my face. We can navigate the challenges we don’t have, but it’s harder to get a handle on our own foibles than to find the TV remote. Cautious observation is in order. It is said that love is circular in application. You get it if you give it. That being true so is criticism. Scripture teaches us that it is a spiritual grace and manifestation of godliness to overlook a wrong.
Since it is impossible to live a life free of judgments, we will have to wear the hat eventually. The question is whether we wear it well. Jesus taught us to examine ourselves first. He didn’t say that others need no counsel, only that those who teach should also teach themselves. When we understand that we are all in the same boat, there is more impetus to keep it from sinking. A kind instructor is more likely to get a fair hearing, and I learn better when I am taught with patience and understanding. I wish I had given more of it.
I hope you will accept apologies with grace. If we ever reach the point that people are willing to be introspective and honest with one another it will be because they feel safe to do so. I would be refreshed to see openness and honesty coupled with forgiveness in the family of believers and the family of man. It may be that the hardest thing is breaking the ice. It won’t be easy for a brave man or woman to say, “I was the problem.” There should be some relief in the understanding that self-judgment precludes outside judgment.
It’s not my brother or my sister, but it’s me, O, Lord. It humbles me to hear someone confess faults because it makes me ashamed of my own. A spirit of meekness makes us approachable, reducing stress for ourselves and others. I believe that God can work more freely when we realize that we are all the recipients of grace. Grace is powerful. It frees us to confess, and it frees us to forgive. It’s hard to be good at anything we don’t practice. If we start early enough, we may make it to the big leagues.
Sterl
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