Freedom’s Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Lose
See, you start out imagining life’s one way, then you find out it’s something else. I suppose we all think of ourselves as masters of our own fate, but that only lasts until we realize there are more things at work in the world than ourselves and our iron wills. There are other people trying to forge their ways in life, and we must interact with them. Also, there are forces beyond our control. To think differently is both prideful and naïve. Into the fray marches the will of God which no one can abrogate.
In this life, all suffer loss in some ways, and there are many who suffer great loss. We all deserve the losses we suffer in the broad sense because of our sinful natures, but there is no rational behind the unequal distribution otherwise. Great wisdom can be gained in loss, and personal growth can be an outcome making the end greater than before and turning the pain to great good. This being said, no one wants to hurt or be deprived- even if the end of our journey leads to God Himself.
And that is where we need to go and must come at last. The Bible is full of stories of acquisition and demolition. The only constant is the presence of God. Sometimes, it is necessary that everything else be stripped away so that only He remains. At the Red Sea, Israel had only one way to go, and that was to swim for it. God made a path in the midst of their great fear and gave them a lifelong reminder that He works well under pressure. Pressure is what I feel when I’ve had a loss, and there’s no direction home.
Everyone I know is stressed, and the pastorate has its unique peccadilloes. Being a pastor is like being someone’s girlfriend. If they ever start going to church somewhere else, you wonder if you weren’t pretty enough. Though I don’t think I’ll ever handle that one very well, I have found that losing some of the applications that we are tempted to think of integral to the position has actually been quite freeing. It’s easy to spend too much time on things of too little eternal import. Some of the diversions of the past are no longer mine to enjoy, but I have a sense of freedom in ministry today that I have always wanted.
I don’t know if I will be remembered for my scintillating sermons or my administrative acumen. Let me put that another way- I know I will not. I guess these things would have been nice, but I know I have loved God with my whole heart, and that’s a fact. I also love people. I make a lot of mistakes and don’t always show it, but I really do. In my clumsy and inefficient way, I have loved my family with all my soul. And I have tried my best, and I am proud of that- even though it fails the test and the trust God has given me.
New life in Christ is more important to me than pats on the back. Now, I’d rather have a pat on the back than a kick in the pants, but that’s just me. The reclamation of the lost is the reason for the church and our work for God on earth. I try to share the gospel plainly, completely and regularly. Last week, I sat with a family as their granddaughter gave her life to Christ. It was joy for them, joy for me and joy in heaven. That’s what I do. I have done a great many other things in my life, but that is the most important to me.
Sterl
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